She makes me sick.

Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's...  I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.

whybotherreading:

LMAO what even xD

jellyfilledcondoms:

the fact that i’ve read one direction fanfiction that was better written than the entire series of glee

A five year old Robert Downey Jr in his film debut (x)

OH MY
This child is perfect
He grew into a perfect man
Wowee

weallcanbelegends:

:P

fuckyeahtattoos:

012345666.tumblr.com

oceanmaster:

fat-birds:

pleatedjeans:

parrot plays mommy [video]

I CAN’T

NO

batreaux:

you walk over to the chamber of secrets and whisper “i have a crush on my cousin”. the basilisk comes over to you and says “you totally misinterpreted the use of this chamber and also you’re pretty fuckin gross”

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

112,388 plays

sherrice:

fun. | Call Me Maybe (cover)

Download

the-animal-blog:

Manul, a small wild cat

Pallas Cat or Manul in Diergaarde Blijdorp (Zoo Rotterdam, the Netherlands).
Pallas Cat (Otocolobus manul), also known as the Manul, is a small wild cat of Central Asia. The cat is quite at home in steppes, cold deserts and the rocky country between heights of 1,000 and 4,000 m.
The Pallas Cat is about the size of a domestic cat but looks much larger due to its stocky build and long, dense coat, which helps shield it from the cold in its frosty habitat.
The head-body length is 50-65 cm, not including its 21 to 31 cm tail, and it weights 2.5-4.5 kg.
The combination of its stocky posture and long, dense fur makes it appear stout and plushy.
The colour varies from light grey to yellowish buff and russet. There is no marked sexual dimorphism.
The eyes are large and set forward in the head, reminiscent of an owl. They have probably evolved like this for hunting by sight.
Pallas’s cats are thought to be crepuscular hunters and to feed on small rodents, pikas and birds.
They hunt primarily by ambush or stalking, using low vegetation and rocky terrain for cover; they are not fast runners. They spend the day sheltering in crevices or abandoned burrows of other animals, although they have also been observed basking in warm sunshine.

by Foto Martien

zebulonpike:

Kristen Wiig, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s yearbook photo

#pornstar #lesbian #crackwhore

nightlifecommando:

pinkottermakes:

#booty booty booty booty rockin’ everywhere #god bless america

With everyone checking each other out like this, the sexual tension on the set must have been crazy.

nightlifecommando:

pinkottermakes:

#booty booty booty booty rockin’ everywhere #god bless america

With everyone checking each other out like this, the sexual tension on the set must have been crazy.

just-keep-swimmingswimming:

Heath Ledger as the Joker skate boarding over Christian Bale as Batman while they take a break on the set of The Dark Knight.

You can all quit your lives now. Single greatest picture in the history of pictures and internet.

GLORIOUS.